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Jan. 3rd, 2009

Anson/from now on


Step Two - 2.3

2.3 3. What are your personal responsibility and accountability in your recovery process?

Seems like kind of a weird question. I mean, it's all on me, right? Nobody put the bottle in my hand and made me drink. I did it. I got myself into this mess and I'm the only one who can get me out. I mean, I know I have this problem of depending too much on other people. Like my brother. Like Sam. I still think it's important to have people like that in your life, you know. People you can look up to and respect, people who love you and care about you and aren't afraid to give you a kick in the ass when you need one. But I'm not a kid anymore. I've got to learn to take responsibility for myself and what I do. If I can't do that, then I'm just gonna keep getting drunk and fucking up and next thing you know it's not just gonna be probation. I'm gonna end up going away, and that can't happen. I've been there before and I don't want to go back. It was bad enough when I was alone, but now...

Now I've got Arthur. And it's not just my life I'm messing up. It's his life, too, his future. Our future. We've got plans, you know? We're buying a house. We want to have a kid one day. I want that for him. For us. So I guess the answer to the question is, it's all my responsibility. I have to be accountable for whether or not I take a drink, and for what I do once I've done it. Nobody else can do that for me. It's not anyone else's job to clean up the mess I've made.

It's mine.

Muse: Anson Greene
Fandom: Moloney
Word Count: 277

Dec. 31st, 2008

[Fred] full name


(no subject)

Hi there... My name's Fred - well, Winifred really, but everyone calls me Fred. And, um...

Well, I just really like pot. A lot. Too much, I guess, since the boys all got together and told me I had to stop. It's too much of a problem, they said.

I didn't think so, until they reminded me that I'd given the go ahead for an experiment based on faulty equations that would've sucked the city down into a fairly unpleasant hell dimension...

... kidding except not. But I saw their point, so... here I am.

Dec. 29th, 2008


6.4 "Yeah, Yeah"

"And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah"
-Joan Osborne "One of Us"

He was an angel. Not the ones of the modern breed that was almost human in appearance and nature. But a biblical Angel of the Lord. A being beyond trivial things like gender and organs. A beautiful reflection of a greater perfection that would inspire the most stanch atheist to repentance if only for a few seconds. He had come to speak with her, one of the messengers who’s name had never made it’s way into the sacred writings of this world because it was not part of the Plan. His world was made of capital letters and impossibly important things. And he had come to speak to Mab. It managed to give the Faerie queen pause and a longing for a home that had only been hers if one twist of the past was the truth. That didn’t make the longing any weaker.
Read more...Collapse )



Dec. 11th, 2008

Contemplate, Gazing Out


Step Two

Describe your higher power.

Most people are convinced I'm an atheist. I'm not. I definitely believe in God. I don't love Him, and I'm pretty sure He's got nothing but contempt for me. But you can't hate something that doesn't exist, so... I'm a bitter agnostic, I guess.

I used to pray when I was little. I used to believe what my father told me, that God was up in Heaven, looking down on us and protecting us. I stopped believing in a benevolent God the day he died, but I didn't stop believing completely. Holding onto the idea that God's got it out for me has been the only comforting thought in my life for the past twenty-eight years. Because the alternative is that all the shit that's come my way has been by random chance, and I can't believe that anyone would fall on the bad side of the coin that many times.

But knowing that God is up there, plotting the next way to fuck with me, is still bizarrely comforting. I guess there's something about the idea that there is a higher power, even if it is vaguely malevolent, that just helps to put me at ease. Maybe it's because I can assign the blame to someone other than myself and the human race, which makes it all easier to swallow.

Otherwise, I would have taken myself out of this world a long time ago.

Athena Herald
Original Character
242 words

Dec. 8th, 2008

Bella - What if I'm the Bad Guy?


Step Six - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

If you were faced with Him
In all His glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?

I would ask why.

Isn't that really the most important question of them all? Not how was the world created, not the purpose of life, no... those are all things that mortals and monsters alike can decide for themselves. I would wish to know why must I be like this? If God loves all of His creatures equally, then why did He create vampires?

Would the answer be that He did not? Impossible, for the almighty created everything. This I believe with complete certainty. My many years have allowed me studies and yes, Darwinism is part of my belief system, but I am a man who believes in God.

I'd like to think I was always like that, before Carlisle, but I know this not to be true. Carlisle Cullen has to be the most compassionate man I've known, and he is convinced that we will make it to Heaven. That God, in His Love and Wisdom, will somehow forgive us of our sins. This is where I disagree with my father, though.

You see, if I were to agree with him and believe that I was not damned, then my question to God would be, "Why would you bother to create such monsters like myself?" If I turned it around, though, and used my own beliefs, my question would be "Why would you allow monsters into Heaven?" Either way, the question remains inherently the same -- why.

Evil should not be allowed to see the Face of God. Evil should not be pardoned so easily. I might be a man who has lived a long life and now feeds off the blood of only animals, but I am still one who has killed humans in the past. Have I truly suffered enough for my crimes? Have I paid the price? I consoled myself with the fact that only murderers or rapists were killed by my hand once, but how can I sit and pass judgment on the worth of their lives? Only God can.

So tell me, then.


Edward Cullen
The Twilight Saga
Please comment HERE
NW: In the Zone


AA 3.3: Miracle on 34th Street

Write about a meeting.

She's in the cheap section. She'd started looking at the higher end, in as much as there is a higher end in this sad little liquor store, but it's not as if the point here is to taste it. The point here is to give-up.

Now I'm not looking for absolution/Forgiveness for the things I do/But before you come to any conclusions/Try walking in my shoes/You'll stumble in my footsteps/Keep the same appointments I kept/If you try walking in my shoes/If you try walking in my shoesCollapse )

Any comments here, thank you.
Muse: Carol Danvers
Fandom: Marvel Comics

Dec. 6th, 2008


5.3 One Person To Admit Your Wrongs To

If I were to tell one person the full extent of my wrongs, that person would have to be willing to stay for a long long time. More time than I have to waste on every foolish decision of my past with the rate at which the rest of my life continues to race forward. But if I were to admit my wrongs to a person, it would be my husband, for better or for worse. He is the only one who gets to see that much of my weaknesses. Even if he’ll never be given the whole picture of what they are. I know I married a predator, I don’t want him to be anything else.

There are reasons to tell him...Collapse )

I'll be clinging to a saving hand


Prompt: STEP SIX


5. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.


1. Make a list of all of you defects of character. Now rate on a scale of 1-5 how ready you are to have God remove them.

2. Why do we cling to our defects? What does it mean to be ready to let them go?

3. "“We are always getting ready to live, but never living" -Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. One of Us - Joan Osbourne
If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him
In all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?

*And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that
you would have to believe
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints
and all the prophets

Trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome

Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome

You must have completed at least one of the prompts from Step Five before answering here. One of the above prompts must be answered before your muse may move on to Step Seven.

All prompts must be at least 150 words.

Thank you.
Nervous, Stoic


Step One

My name is Athena, and I'm powerless.

I've been powerless all my life. At first it was natural, the way you're supposed to be when you're a child. "Innocent" is what everyone else would call it, I guess. And I was, until I turned nine. That was when I found out how cruel the world really was, and I became truly powerless. I couldn't save my father from his fate, and I couldn't save me from mine.

I started drinking early on in high school. It started as something I did at parties every now and then, a momentary distraction from my life. By sixteen, I probably could have outlasted an Irish dockworker. I always told myself that it was okay, given my circumstances. It was genetic, and therefore unavoidable. And if you grew up the way I did, you'd be a drinker too.

This isn't my first time in the program, and I know it won't be the last. Sobriety has a tendency not to stick for very long with me. Sometimes I've wanted it to, but I reach a point where drinking is my only way to cope without completely losing it. Part of me wishes that wasn't so, that I could learn to live without alcohol. But the other part of me is perfectly happy and comfortable with slowly drinking myself to death, and that's the side I listen to. Because deep down, I'm resigned to the fact that this is all part of God's plan for me, and I can't change that. If I've been set on a path to destroy myself, then so be it. I wouldn't be the first. And as long as it would mean a reprieve, I'm okay with giving up any power I might have, if I even had it to begin with.

I've been powerless all my life. I honestly don't know how well I'd fare if that changed.

Athena Herald
Original Character
336 words
Bored, Not Amused



My name is Athena, and I'm an alcoholic.

I've been through all of this before. Can't really say why I'm back here again, except that I'm apparently a glutton for punishment. See, it's always been my firm belief that my life is better when I'm drinking, worse when I'm not. But... but I'm starting to think that I might just be deluding myself. So I'm giving this whole sobriety thing another shot.

Maybe it'll stick this time.

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